A Closer's Coffee

Presidents Bush and Obama couldn’t have more different politics, but they share an important characteristic: they are both alpha males. They believe in themselves even when others have lost faith. While surrounded by detractors on every side, both possess the internal fortitude to proceed down a very lonely road toward the truth of their cause. This ability to face one’s fears, and to be brave and hopeful despite the difficulties encountered is the key to enter the domain of the alpha personality.

In the Harvard Business Review (May 2004) Drs. Kate Ludeman and Eddie Erlandson stated that 70% of all top managers in public companies are classic alpha personalities. This type of personality is known for being confident, successful, intelligent, persistent, risk takers, self loving, compelling, winners, energetic, productive, competitive, leaders, charming, extroverted, courageous, high status, assertive, charismatic, rational, direct, and comfortable in their skin. It is these alpha personalities who organize human institutions into their own images.

If you look at the law firm partners with significant business, you will find that the number of alphas is at least as high. Does this mean that if we find ourselves as a beta personality that all hope is lost with respect to winning business? I would suggest that many non-alphas have been very successful in selling at a high level in other industries, and I personally know some non-alpha law firm partners who have large books of business. If we breakdown what the alpha rainmakers do, and engage in these behaviors repeatedly we will enjoy similar success.

Alfred Adler, along with Freud and Jung, was a giant of modern psychology. He developed a concept to “act as if”, where if one wished to adopt a certain human quality, one should “act as if” they possess that quality. Let’s say one suffered from a morose personality, but wished to be cheerful. If one would make a point of smiling and mustering a warm and friendly hello to everyone encountered throughout the day, a new habit and state of mind would begin to take root. Adopting positive attributes like cheerfulness will also have other benefits such as an improved reaction from others who formally fled the glum person, and thus further reinforcing the new positive behavior.

A habit is something we do regularly and automatically, without much planning or thought. Psychologists have found through scientific studies that new habits can be formed in 18 to 254 days depending on the individual and the complexity of the new habit. It is important to practice the new habit on a daily basis, and to be careful not to miss days. Cultivate the most alpha dimensions of your personality, and use this as a base to improve the other areas where we are beta or even gamma.

Here is a list of some key alpha qualities to be cultivated that will help us as rainmakers:
• Body Language: the alpha personalities exudes confidence from their pores; they lean back in chairs, speak in a strong slow voice; have open body language and rarely cross their arms or legs defensively; they smile; have strong eye contact; they pay attention to their image; they stay calm when others threaten; they are unfailingly powerful
• Confidence: Alphas are confident. Dr. Paul Dobransky, a Chicago-based psychiatrist, has a theory that when we face our fears and do something outside our comfort zone we show bravery. The application of bravery, and what we learn from the experience, gives us in equal measure confidence in return. He uses the example in the film, Saving Private Ryan where the boys on the troop transports were speeding toward a beach defended by enemy machine guns. The soldiers were all justifiably fearful, but they faced their fears showing bravery and despite the extreme danger stormed the beach. Dobransky concludes that the exercise of bravery in turn gave the soldiers the confidence to be heroic in future battles. The same is true for us the next time we are at a conference. We can show bravery by approaching larger groups of high-status attendees more often. Not only will we make valuable contacts, but feel great about the great reception we receive and give us the confidence to do this as a second nature.
• Energy: Alphas are high-energy personalities and many are fond of things like marathons and triathlons. We can raise our energy levels by adding more exercise in our daily routines. Start out at a reasonable level and increase the activities over time. This can even be combined with networking activities like golf, sailing, and bicycling or running clubs. Competitive sport can also help nurture our mojo and increase our drive to be a winner.
• Charm: Start with the persons we encounter in our life, and practice giving them “good emotion”. Complement, flirt, joke with in a kind way, pay some extra attention to our spouse, children, secretary, car park, waiter, and colleagues and subordinates. If we push ourselves in social situations to make witty conversation, pass out complements, and stick to light topics; we might find unexpected positive reinforcement in the better reaction we receive from others, and a new behavior is learned. By putting forth this extra effort with those we regularly encounter, we will give gain the confidence to easily strike up a conversation with that fellow in the first class lounge at the airport.
• Self-loving: Start by ditching any negative self talk such as “I’m no good at talking to strangers” or “I am not a salesman”. I can promise that if we continue to repeat negative things about ourselves we most certainly will never rise above our current situation. Many of the negative beliefs we may have about ourselves are rooted in our insecurities, crap mean spirited persons sold us about ourselves in the past, or a distorted sense of reality. Alphas don’t do negative self-talk and this may be why they accomplish so much in life. Let’s turn off the tape deck of negative self-talk playing in our heads. Consider the words we say carefully always scanning them for negative or limiting descriptions of ourselves. Replace this with a kinder and gentler, more hopeful way of speaking and thinking about ourselves.

Adopting more and more alpha characteristics will go a long way in helping us achieve the success we have craved for so long. We are the masters of our own destiny.

Tags: act as if, Alfred Adler, alpha female, alpha male, forming habits